Emails from Namrata

Dear Friends 20 June 2007
I thought you would be interested
It is Wednesday evening. I have just spent the afternoon & early evening with YM, Dar, Karuna, Punita and Anjali.
The doctor came today. He said Yogeshwar's body will die in the next 2 days to 2 weeks. He is skeletally thin and being fed water with a spoon.
He is so weak that he is always lying down but, at least until tonight, has gotten up to go to bed, though with support. We all like being there but have left for the evening, except one person stays. We sit in shifts with him and Darshana as Darshana is getting sick. It is a nice vigil just sitting together with him.
I will let you know when he dies or.... He says yoga is proceeding. He said now he will get divine body even if he dies, like Kripalu. He says he is at peace that his body feels washed in every cell as if cleaned by water from a mountain stream and has told of other different experiences that he is having or something about Lila Paradigm, mostly through sign language.
Lakulisha visited and told him not to worry.
God's blessings,
Namrata

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Dear Friends 22 June 2007
If you have written please know I will give your messages to him. I will try to answer your questions and update you here. We are Sati, Karuna, Punita, Anjali and, of course, Darshana here in Merimbula near Yogeshwar. We are all getting tired and Sati is ill from before Yogeshwar's recent rapid decline. As of this morning he still has not left the body. He is taking morphine as of 30 hours ago for the severe pain that has been plaguing him for months now. As always, everything, though, has been about yoga and he was reporting various stages of the flowing of amrit, kalakuta poison and amrit, and the formation of divine body. He told us yesterday morning that he won't be able to reverse the death process and he expected his body to die. Still, he would get divine body after death and that he would not be reborn. All of this has been written down from our satsangs with him and we are keeping notes of events and things that are said over the last three days when he no longer gets up. We are able to be with him most of the time, taking breaks to rest or meditate, or as each feels inclined. Mostly I think we are tired because it is hard to be away and it is a meditation in itself, sitting in his and Darshana's front room. He is lying on his side in a bed set up there for him. Kept quite warm, he eats nothing and has water by spoon. To look at he looks like a dying man. Ritam said it quite rightly I think, "I can only imagine that when Y leaves the body it will be a great release for him and perhaps allow even more direct contact with others who have gone before him. May the Divine Body formless form process continue rapidly for him!" I might add increased contact with us who hold him in our hearts.
Darshana holds up well, emotional the other day, then fine, trying not to get ill herself (there is a big flu hitting NSW at the moment), and we are discussing how best to keep her afloat when it is the toll on the body from little and irregular sleep and food that bothers her now. I feel dependent on her as she knows him so well and since he can't speak and now hand spells out words with difficulty. It is hard to get his thought and anticipate his needs. Also he and we noticed the morphine has made him paranoid and a little confused. Doctor is coming today to check on him. Pain killers without morphine base would be welcomed I think. (He has avoided pain killers up until now and maybe he realized the body will not survive but his sadhana can go on and the pain has been a big barrier. I do not know. He had said to us that whenever the prana works there, his subtle attachment to having the pain gone keeps it from transforming.
Reading my comment now later I think, as the death process went on, he still had pain despite the morphine. After the first night of some paranoia, as soon as he realized that that was what was happening, the paranoia was gone. He didn't exhibit any such symptoms.
He has made a living will regarding when to cremate his body and when to have a tomb and how to decide. We shall see what the doctor and authorities will do if it appears the body is dead and there are no signs of decay. We want to keep it with us for up to 10 days. These details will come out later and as I said careful notes are being taken and will be shared with those who want to know.
I find myself seeing that he is dying but still hoping that it would appear so even with formation of divine body.
I hope this answers your questions. I will write again as I can or like.
Today when faced with all your loving emails I felt compelled to write you asap.
Namrata

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Dear Friends 24 June 2007
He left the body at around 3:12 am Sunday the 24th June 2007. I wouldn't say he left in the usual way. I do not know that he left. He is no longer in that body. It was so obvious that he was not the body. His final countenance was beatific: large, wide open eyes, gazing at the Ultimate, hands in mudra.
It was one of the most beautiful, fantastic experiences of my life. He showed us how to surrender to the Divine to the very "end" and I know now without doubt his love for me and you.
There is more to tell but I thought you would want to know asap. Write me or call if you like. Easier to answer your questions.
I feel his blessings are with us.
Namrata

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Dear Friends 30 June 2007
I am still working on the details of the notes from Yogeshwar's last days in human form. I still can't say this in a way that is satisfying to me. He remains very available. I now know why Indians call it mahasamadhi. He was in samadhi. He did not leave the body but it was as if he expanded. He did not disappear or go away. He was just no longer using the body as a viewpoint There was clearly surrender/yoga still happening, at least to me, for example because the movements in the etheric body were apparent but my knowing was buzzing too.
The look on his face was exalted then beatific. There was no death rattle and his mouth, although slightly opened, closed and remained that way for around 24 hours. Only then it started to slowly open/relax again. Also it was clear that this was a crisis brought on by sadhana. He had permanent upward flow of the sexual energy. It may be that the disease defeated him. He was unable to reverse the weight loss and other purification happening at that stage of sadhana (read Jnaneshwari chapter six verses 211- 292 in particular and to some degree the verses following to 348) and whatever was causing his pain and swollen lymph was part of that. Many of you have asked if he had some final words for us and all I can say is that his life and final days using a physical body to relate with were his final words. He showed us surrender to Truth and he showed at the time of his last physical breath Truth, Lila and the One and the Many. I am trying to communicate this all to you as best I can. I continue to work on that project.
After 2 and 1/2 days of laying at home unmoved as he requested we got caught up in the smell (strong, unpleasantly sweet, thick odor increasing) and called the police and coroner. We forgot that he asked to remain unmoved for three days until after. Just like with Kripalu and his disciples, I felt I let him down. After some other brief uncertainties about how to prevent an autopsy (his request), he is now at a funeral home. There will be cremation next Tuesday at 2 pm. If you would like anything said or done at the service (it will be whatever any of us decide to do) let me know. I will do my best on your behalf.
He talked about having a tomb on a property just north of here where people could be inspired to do Yoga. Lo and behold the beautiful young family who own it are quite open to his ashes being there. The father works with stone and has offered to build the cairn or shrine where the ashes will be kept.

May the blessing of God rest upon you
May His Peace abide with you
May His Presence illuminate your heart
Now and forever more
Namrata